It’s A Bird, It’s A Plane, No, It’s Super-Teacher!

Clear your mind. Draw in a few meaningful breaths. Think about school . . .

Let me clarify. Don’t waste precious grey matter on tests, studying, friend troubles, or even the socially paralyzing event coming up on October 29th that rhymes with Shomecoming. Clear your mind of all those things for a few moments — or however long it takes for your cluttered minds to comprehend this brain activity.

Try thinking of your favorite teachers. Why are they your favorite teachers? Try to mask that big grin on your face or the thought of said teacher making you laugh. Just think about what makes these teachers so great. Don’t be too specific, but your judgments can range from teaching style to easy grading, from sarcasm to pure aesthetic fashion.

Ok, great job. Your thinking exercise is over. The Talon will do the rest for you.

We know everyone at this school has a favorite teacher for one reason or the next. An article about each one of these things seems almost arbitrary, doesn’t it? That’s played out. It’s time for a full list of what makes some teachers stand out.

Wait a minute. What if we combined these attributes to make one super teacher? No way. Too dangerous. It can’t be done.

Or can it?

The Talon has done what many thought couldn’t be done. We hit the metaphorical laboratory to create a super teacher. One with everything we love about the current teachers at CB, but conformed into one fashionable, funny, smart, empathetic, lovable teacher who spends Vocation Friday doing what students love to do — nothing.

So sit down and buckle up — let’s make a Super-Teacher.

Step 1: Obtain a large slice of Mr. Tom English’s ability to age well and his timeless lecturing, along with his unmatched love for his students and school. (And yes, of course we had to start off with Mr. English. The man is what some call “G.O.A.T.”)

Step 2: Add a few dashes of Mr. Michael Hood’s outlook on life, his ability to love life and his job. Oh, and let’s add in his good looks…more than just a few dashes of that.

Step 3: Mix in a large amount of Mr. Vince Leporini and Fr. Frantisek Murin’s dry humor. Maybe a pinch of Lep’s extensive knowledge of pointless American history facts, but we will leave that to dealer’s choice. And let’s not forget his love for fun and creative uses of block periods.

Step 4: Don’t forget to include Mr. Paul Havey’s devotion to the poor and marginalized. We here at CB need our dose of a true Lasallian education. And why not, let’s throw in a full serving of his dance talks. Those are wild.

Step 5: Mr. Thomas Guro ’03. Whatever it is you love about this man, there’s no denying we needs a healthy chunk of Guro’s friendliness and contagious laugh. And let’s include his huge arms. Can’t hurt.

Step 6: We can’t forget clothing! Mr. Evan Boylan easily wins most fashionable teacher, so don’t omit this important aspect of our faculty and staff.

Step 7: Mr. Julian Elorduy ’03 needs to be mentioned as well. His enthusiasm for the school and his students is hard to beat, and his music taste has unmistakable Elorduy charm. Finally, his jawline isn’t too bad.

Step 8: Oh, and i almost forgot! Mr. Kevin Van Den Bogert! His pure intellect complements his good looks and impeccable fashion perfectly. Also, one of the smartest people on campus, if not the.

Step 9: Mr. Brendan Hogan ’95 has to be included in this mix. His colorful language and friendliness with students is certainly unique.

Step 10: And last but certainly not least, my favorite teacher on campus and the best teacher I have ever had – Mr. Tomas Capogreco ’86. Add in anything from Cap’s repertoire (his musical acumen, love for students, love for school, outlook on life) and you’re bound to make the ultimate professor.

For those skeptical of this diabolical super-teacher experiment, for those who said it could never be done, for those who are hypercritical of CB teachers – the Talon just saved the day. Or maybe . . .

It was Super-Teacher.