High School Dances — a place where you can express yourself however you want and dance the night away with your friends. But to what extent? When does having fun turn into having too much fun? To what extent do you allow your human dignity to bend in order to have a “good time”? These […]
High School Dances — a place where you can express yourself however you want and dance the night away with your friends. But to what extent? When does having fun turn into having too much fun? To what extent do you allow your human dignity to bend in order to have a “good time”?
These questions and more are all answered by one of CB’s own religion teachers with his memorable “dance talk”.
If you know our beloved religion teacher, Mr. Paul Havey ’81, at all, you know all about his CB renowned dance talk. You have either experienced this uncomfortable discussion firsthand or heard about it by friends, because after Mr. Havey gives his talk, it becomes the hot new topic of conversation for most freshmen students.
Graduates from CB still remember this famous talk. So how long has Mr. Havey given this legendary lecture? He explained to the Talon that grinding is not a new dance and it has actually been going on for quite some time. He first came in contact with this type of dirty dancing about 15 years ago when his students told him horrific stories of their experience from Jesuit dances.
“I thought that’s not gonna happen here and I’m gonna go out of my way to make sure it doesn’t”, he said. His personal vendetta against grinding gave birth to his famous dance talk.
“My dance talk is about explaining to [freshmen] about why I am out there doing what I’m doing and why we’re asking them not to freak and grind,” Mr. Havey explained.
He believes that all people should be treated with respect and dignity and perceives grinding to be a way for boys to demean girls.
“It’s really just a guy humping on a girl,” he plainly states.
In his class, he teaches that your sexuality is a gift from God and is sacred, so therefore flaunting it around by grinding or freaking goes against God’s teachings. It is his belief that grinding not only disrespects the people involved, but also disrespects your gift from God.
To help lighten the mood of this uncomfortable talk, he uses stories and humor to try help his students understand that grinding is really just sexual position and not a type of dance. He tries to help freshman realize that there are other ways of dancing without disrespecting each other.
Mr. Havey’s attention grabbing talk has been told so much so that he has become known as the “flashlight guy” or “that one teacher who gives that awkward talk before your first high school dance”.
Although this talk does make some freshmen extremely uncomfortable, it does prepare them for the reality of a high school dance while teaching important values on how we should treat each other.
“Being a religious studies teacher is not only teaching them about God and about Christ, but also teaching them about respect for everyone”, Mr. Havey concluded.
He does not expect grinding to go away any time soon, so don’t count on this dance talk to stop being told. Mr. Havey says he only fears what will be the next popular “dance” will be.