Between the chaos of balancing demanding schoolwork and time consuming extracurriculars, what does a healthy relationship look like at CB?, friends for almost twelve years, Carson Becker (‘20) and Elizabeth Hinton (‘20) have found a way to balance balance their friendship between their busy schedules with constant communication. Carson and Elizabeth attended St. Elizabeth Ann […]
Between the chaos of balancing demanding schoolwork and time consuming extracurriculars, what does a healthy relationship look like at CB?, friends for almost twelve years, Carson Becker (‘20) and Elizabeth Hinton (‘20) have found a way to balance balance their friendship between their busy schedules with constant communication.
Carson and Elizabeth attended St. Elizabeth Ann Seton from kindergarten through eighth grade, but it wasn’t until sixth grade that their friendship truly blossomed. Through the years they have developed an abundant amount of trust and reliability.
“Trust builds over time,” Elizabeth explained. “It’s refreshing having someone to talk to outside your inner circle”.
Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship, and the ability to be vulnerable with someone helps develop trust. CB Wellness Counselor Mrs. Emily McDougall believes that “trust forms from feeling safe enough to be yourself” and taking off your mask and feeling comfortable with sharing with your friend.
Along with sharing should come distinguished boundaries. It’s important to recognize trustworthy friends and to acknowledge friends who normally struggle with keeping matters to themselves. It is wise to be a bit cautious with what you share right away. Ms. McDougall encourages students to “be aware of how much people share about others or themselves”. This is a primary tool to evaluate whether a person is worthy of knowing something personal about you and that you expect to be kept private.
Friends for close to sixteen years, Lily Witry (’20) and Katie Phipps’ (’20) distinguished boundaries and trust for one another have allowed them to rely on each other through thick and thin.
“We value our boundaries and are loyal to each other” Katie says.
It is important to acknowledge that there are an array of friendships ranging from people you share everything with to just friends that you enjoy having a laugh with. Friendships bring balance to our lives, meaning having a variety of friends promotes a healthy balance. Feeling valued and respected by other people is comforting and supports a happy lifestyle.
Carson and Elizabeth emphasize the importance of making each other feel valued. They make sure to make in effort both in school and outside of school. Whether its a simple smile and hello or a special Spaghetti Factory date on the weekend, they make it work. They are also aware of each others tendencies.
“I can understand the day she’s having by the look on her face” Carson says.
They extend themselves to each other when times seem tough, and they maintain their friendship by noticing their times of need. Ms. McDougall expresses the impact of people wanting to be seen and how it makes a difference in ,“noticing the little things, remembering specifics so your friend knows your involved and aware”. Showing the effort expresses concern for their well being.
“We’ve never gotten in a fight — our friendship comes naturally” Lily confidently says of her friendship with Katie.
Healthy relationships take effort, but shouldn’t be work. Put the energy into the people who have your best interest and respect your values. The main priority should be your individual happiness and well being, therefore find the friends who support you in the process.