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Quality Or Quantity: Is Having A Lot Of Friends In High School Necessary?

Think of your favorite cheesy high school movie. Are there any high school cliques? Mean cheerleaders or dumb jocks? Maybe you even remember the insanely long lunch tables that students were ready to jump on if a sudden song broke out. A question that these movies often pose is: it is necessary to have a […]

Think of your favorite cheesy high school movie. Are there any high school cliques? Mean cheerleaders or dumb jocks? Maybe you even remember the insanely long lunch tables that students were ready to jump on if a sudden song broke out. A question that these movies often pose is: it is necessary to have a big group of friends in order to be happy in high school?

Often times having a lot of friends is attached to the idea of having fun and being happy. That is not always completely accurate, however.

A dilemma that many eager freshmen students face is the how they are going to make the greatest number of friends in the fastest amount of time, but that is not always the best approach.

 There are various pros and cons to consider when deciding if having a high number of friends is important. Having a big friend group is enjoyable when everyone gets along and has fun. Many friends also means many different perspectives and opinions which can expose you to new ways of thinking. Friends also help guide you through the many challenges you face in life. Whether it’s family problems or school stress, the support from as many friends as possible helps the coping process during those rough times much easier. 

“It’s so good to have a lot of friends because you always have all these people supporting you,” says Spanish teacher Ms. Tracy Chadbourne.

Having a lot of friends can be an exceptional gift, however, it can also lend itself to issues such as exclusion, disloyalty, or drama. The larger number of friends is the larger the number of people you may find yourself helping and dividing time for. This can sometimes lead to stress because you may realize that you are spreading yourself too thin for too many people.

“I think having good friends is more important than having a lot,” Sophie Sidley (‘21) says.

The obsession of having a lot of friends and being popular may also cloud one’s judgment causing them to focus on the number of friends rather than of quality of them. 

Allie Corgiat (‘21) and Maggie Melarkey (‘21) sharing a warm embrace.

Throughout high school people change and grow into new people or different versions of themselves. Although friends are very important to have, it is more important to chose the right friends who will help you become your best self.

“You really only want the core group of people who are gonna actually take care of you and who you will have time to take care of,” Ms. Chadbourne says.

Although having a lot of friends is possible, sometimes it’s unrealistic. Sooner or later you will find someone you don’t particularly want to spend your time with.

“Don’t force friendships because it makes it harder to be friends with people because it just doesn’t feel good or natural,” Mahlet Iseley (‘21) says.

It is perfectly fine to limit your circle to just those who you genuinely love to be around and make you the most authentic version of yourself. When it comes down to it, the whole concept of friendship is always about quality over quantity.

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