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What Art Thou Number?

Shall I compare thee to a game of Fortnite? Thou art more hot and chill: Rough DMs do shake the coolness of my approach. And Snapchat’s lease hath too short to see your face. Those ten seconds never go by with such speed. And from text to text, our convos never decline, for my love, […]

Shall I compare thee to a game of Fortnite? Thou art more hot and chill: Rough DMs do shake the coolness of my approach. And Snapchat’s lease hath too short to see your face. Those ten seconds never go by with such speed. And from text to text, our convos never decline, for my love, I always have you in mind and my phone.

Courting has differed from generations past. We have gone from throwing pebbles at windows and writing sonnets to barely saying hi in the hallways and a 2 AM “U up”? text. I sat down with modern courters to find out how to truly to obtain a lady in today’s time.

Senior baseball players Mark Powers (’18), Kade McKechnie (’18), and Jason Carrey (’18) had passionate, but unbelievably typical answers to my questions.  Mark explained how he would approach a girl he wanted to peruse.

“If I wanted to date a girl I would first talk to her in class and get her number and then I would just text her,” he says. “I would rather talk to the girl in person, but you have to do both. You gotta do that legwork or you are gonna get friend zoned.”

Kade argued about how technology has changed the concept of love in our generation

“Nope, I think technology made romance better. A girl could go on Twitter and tweet about how she wants flowers and then the guy could show up to her house with some flowers. That’s hecka romantic. Like how are you supposed to know to get her flowers unless she posts about it. It does make harder to compete with other guys because so many guys are trying to chase that bag. And it’s way easier to make plans.”

Jason described to me his idea of the perfect night out with a new girl.

“Tbh I met my last bae on Twitter, and then on first date is we went to dinner and then we went to the lookout at heaven [in Folsom]. So I think that would be a good idea just like food and some activity, like Fortnite.”

The three boys then agreed that they think it is hot when a girl approaches them and they feel like girls should hit them up first. The final thoughts of the boys were that girls of this century require much more attention due to technology and that girls nowadays are much more needy and it makes it more difficult to court them. I then decided to share the information these boys provided with a young female, freshman Bella Barbosa (’21).

“Girls do not need more attention now cause of technology,” she says. “It’s just now guys can know what we want easier. And Fortnite is a terrible idea for a date. I am not a fan.”

Boys of this generation hold no comparison to John Keats, E. E. Cummings, or William Shakespeare. Love now does not start with “To my dear beloved”, but more like “So I think you’re cute and we should talk more;)”

The course of true talking never did run smooth. For love is smoke made with the fumes of disappointing males.

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